He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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