I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
