and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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