dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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