I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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