is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
