He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The air taste purple.
Randomize
