So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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