she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
