I must be too annoying 4 u.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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