apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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