So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
honey bunches of taint.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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