yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
