Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
