I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
