is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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