The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
