i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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