We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
