How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
