That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
