Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
