Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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