UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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