they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
