I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
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