no, he came in my armpit
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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