Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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