Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
