Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
