I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
50% drunk capacity currently
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
