I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
