shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
