Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Did I show you my penis last night?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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