can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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