Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
