butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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