Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
