Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
