10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
