I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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