Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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