omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
