It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
