You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
