i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
40s are totally the cure
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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