____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
