I feel like abortions should bother me more
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
