he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Sacagawea was the original milf.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
