I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
