dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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