I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
